Rakuen
by Nekocin
Summary: [AUish, oneshot, heavy KoujiTakuya] Kouji's POV. He's just minding his own little business when he meets an unexpected someone.


Title: Rakuen  
  
Author: Nekocin  
  
Email: Neko_cin_6@hotmail.com  
  
Genres: General [Romance?, angst?]  
  
Type: One-shot  
  
Anime: Digimon Frontier.. -_-;; don't ask  
  
Warnings: shounen-ai, lime-ish, OoC, too many "I"s -_-;;  
  
Pairings: Kouji+Takuya... ^^; ehehehe  
  
Rated: G -- PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: Anime in question doesn't belong to me. Only the fic.   
  
Author's notes:   
  
This is my first Digimon Frontier fic ^-^. Not bad though could've been much better. I don't know where this idea came from, but it must have had something to do with what if they haven't seen each for other a long time?   
  
The whole process of making it slightly good to read turned out to be a bit messy _;; By the way this is told from Kouji's POV. And I know it might be a bit confusing.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Shinya!!"   
  
I blink at the interruption. How many times have I heard this voice more clearly than these last few days? It's matured a bit... maybe it's not really your voice.   
  
I sigh. Dammit! I've come here to rest and not think about you! And a rest means I've come to embrace nature.   
  
Maybe that's why your voice had been hunting me since I got here. We've been through so much together and most of the time I've caught myself thinking about you. Your eyes, your voice, your smile and your touch. You've touched me in both ways: physically and mentally.   
  
I shudder in pleasure once I think back those days when your touch was still innocent. I chuckle unconsciously.   
  
How ironic of me to think about you more than a friend.  
  
"Shinya! Come out, come out wherever you are!!" someone shouts from under me. I look down from the branch on which I'm sitting.  
  
... Tan hat... brown hair... goggles... I gulp as my eyes widen. SHIT!!!  
  
Am I seeing things already? Hearing your voice everywhere is already enough. But seeing you everywhere... Dammit!   
  
I feel my head whirling in confusion as my heart skips a beat. Why is it always like this whenever I feel you're around? Why do I always feel like this... this 'beaming' whenever I see you around? Is this like my curse to have you closer than just close friends?  
  
"Shinya?!" Your look-a-like looks up and freezes. I find my body stiffen at the same time.   
  
Are you real? My heart pleads desperately as it begins to thud faster.   
  
"Kouji-kun?"   
  
My heart skips another beat longingly. It's YOU!!!  
  
I think I'm staring indifferently at you. (Thank goodness)  
  
There's a storm raving inside of me and I refuse to show them on my face. Your smile broadens and your eyes light up.   
  
"Hey, Kouji-kun! It's me Takuya. It's been a long time since we've last seen each other, ne?" you ramble and make your way up the tree in which I've been 'resting' a few minutes ago.   
  
It's always been like that if I can remember. You don't wait for the others to come to you. You just come to them and hold their hands so that they won't get lost. Like a big brother...  
  
"Hello, Kanbara-kun" I greet, but it came out like a grunt I guess. You smile sweetly and sit on the other branch, right across mine.   
  
"How have you been, Kouji-kun? I haven't seen you for a long time"  
  
"I've been around" I answer nonchalantly and cross my arms over my chest. I turn away from you and look at the leaves. It's no use getting closer to you when I really don't know you this well...   
  
I take in a shaky breath when I realize we're sitting just a few centimeters away from one another. I don't trust myself to touch you on purpose.   
  
"What about you?" I started quietly, hoping I really haven't given you the idea that I'm isolating myself again.   
  
"You're still going through the last name basis?" You chuckle incredulously. "I'm okay, really. It's just... I... I mean... we..." you start brokenly, making me frown.   
  
I automatically turn to look at you. Your eyes hold sadness and you're biting our lowerlip unconsciously.   
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I miss those days already. How ironic, ne?" You take in a shaky breath and answer me along with a smile. A sad smile. "We were a great team back then and now... we don't see each others much..."  
  
I stare at you. It's true. We all went in our own ways. Junpei is studying architecture, Izumi is taking modeling jobs and Tomoki, he's working his way up to Senior High. I'm not sure about you, but I know it has something to do with your goal in life. And me? I'm still unsure what to do with my life...  
  
"Huh?" I blink when you mouth something.   
  
"I said I've to go now. I need to find my brother soon before he wins the game" You send me that childish grin and give me a thumbs-up.   
  
"Oh" I respond dumbly and you smile again.  
  
"See you around, Kouji-kun!"  
  
You jump down and run deeper into the park. I watch you go in your own carefree world.  
  
"What am I thinking?" I chide myself and sigh dejectedly. "I am never going to get a chance if I'm not making a move"   
  
Heh. When it comes to this, you're clueless about these sorts of things I guess.   
  
But why did my heart choose you?...   
  
*.*.*.*.* (1)  
  
These last few days I've caught myself going to the park every Wednesday, because that's the day when you and Shinya had scheduled your time together. It really feels weird to know just about your whole schedule. I guess I've memorized everything you do routinely. Hehehehe...  
  
You don't seem to notice me watching you from afar. You also don't seem to mind when you couldn't find me in that tree the other day. I wish I could just pop out and make you smile. Because that sad look on your face's really not suitable for a single person like you.   
  
You're supposed to be sunshine. You're supposed to be light or fire for that matter.   
  
But if I did pop out just to cheer you up you might suspect something is up.  
  
Shinya laughs uncontrollably when you mercilessly attacked him with your tickles. The scene makes me smile unconsciously. (Remember that time you did that to me too?)  
  
Don't you know how truly weird I feel whenever you're around?  
  
Don't you know how worried I was when you didn't show up at the park, but came much later than I'd expected?  
  
Don't you know?   
  
How ironic. Of course you don't. I'm the one feeling it, enduring every minute of it and let it flow past.  
  
I sigh. This has to be some kind of sick mind joke, because this feeling is like being in love.   
  
Heh! Is it even love? If it's love... am I allowed to really have you?   
  
Can I even have you?  
  
My heart hurts whenever I still wonder, whenever my mind is still against it. Why?  
  
Is it really "love"?   
  
Is it allowed to love someone of the same gender?   
  
Is it love then?  
  
A headache is coming up and I've still no idea what this feeling is.   
  
I'm at a loss...   
  
I turn my attention back to you. Shinya has left with his friends already.   
  
How strange, isn't it? Both of you could be considered as teenagers, matured teenagers. And still... you two act like toddlers.  
  
You wave absently as Shinya runs away. You sadly (or is it bored?) turn around. I assume you're looking for someone familiar to talk to. The crest-fallen face has already told me everything. You don't like feeling alone or left out.   
  
I watch you take a seat under a tree. I smile. It's the same tree where you've caught me the other day. And you lay down sleepily... how angelic...   
  
*.*.*.*.* (1)  
  
The clouds begin to rumble above me. Smaller droplets fall down gracefully on the earth, wetting my temporarily spot. Where am I? I blink up at the sky and immediately the rain crashes down on me.  
  
"DAMMIT!" I sputter out and look around.   
  
The park.   
  
What am I doing here? When did I fall asleep?   
  
I quickly run for cover to a nearby hut.   
  
"Damn weather!" I curse under my breath and wring the water out of my clothes. I can't remember having fallen asleep between the bushes... hn.  
  
I watch the rain fall. My inner self is at peace and the wind runs past me.   
  
Not a single person is seen at the park. Everyone must've left at top speed when the rain had started.   
  
I wonder if my mind is holding some stuff back from me because I feel like I'm forgetting something.  
  
Faint foot splatters catches my attention and I automatically look around. A silhouette is running through the rain and he's heading towards this hut. What's so special about him?   
  
I turn around and stare at the rain, my back to him.   
  
Is it really you? My heart pleads and thuds faster than intended.   
  
Who is my heart seeking?  
  
"What a weather, ne?" the person comments as soon as he's in the hut. The voice sounds familiar...   
  
"Hn" I nod in agreement and turn around to acknowledge my companion. My eyes widen and my mouth's agape.   
  
It's YOU!! My heart thuds faster.  
  
You grin good-naturedly at me, letting me know you've already recognized me. "Kouji-kun"  
  
That's when my eyes start to wander over your wet figure. The shirt clings on you like a second skin as did you trousers. You're dripping wet. Small droplets soak down the hems, accentuating the unexpected bath you just had. Your hair hangs in wisps (2) as the droplets slide down over your skin.  
  
I take in a sharp breath and gawk at you for a while. What the heck!?   
  
"What a surprise to see you here! So, are you living around here permanently?"   
  
My mind whirls and sends me strange images of a faraway dream.  
  
"Kouji-kun, you okay?"   
  
A hand is laid on my shoulder and snaps me out of my embarrassing thoughts of what those images could've been.   
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You okay? You've been staring at me as if you've not seen me before. Something wrong?"   
  
I glance at you mutely while you ramble on worriedly.   
  
It's been so long since I've heard your voice this close. It's been so long since someone has worried about me.   
  
My stomach flutters excitedly and my heart begins to beat even faster. As if it's going to pop out of my chest any minute.   
  
You're too close. Your hand is left forgotten on my shoulder as you ramble animatedly. You always seem to be so carefree. So passionately stubborn also...  
  
I sigh mentally. I'm quite aware how strange it feels like to have you touch me. However, I guess you have no idea what you're getting yourself into.   
  
You're standing too close.  
  
"Kouji-kun? Kouji-kun! Kouji-kun!" You shout in my face just to catch my attention. I blink a few times and slowly feel the embarrassing blush rising up to my cheeks.   
  
"Sorry. Too much on my mind lately. What were you saying again?" I explain sheepishly, not even bothering to wonder why my eyes won't meet yours.   
  
"Sometimes you worry too much, Kouji-kun. I can see you're worried. So what's wrong?" You smile brightly and pull yourself back.   
  
The hand is leaving.   
  
The warmth is gone.   
  
My stomach stops dead in its track.   
  
NO!  
  
My heart panics and my eyes widen along.   
  
"DON'T!" I immediately protest.  
  
"Uh... o... kay..." You answer me uncertainly and glance owlishly at me. I flush in embarrassment when you complied. Your eyes stare up at your hand and I gasp silently. I'd caught your wrist without knowing!  
  
"Have I done something wrong? Because I've no idea why you're upset" You comment sincerely.   
  
My breathing becomes ragged suddenly and you frown deeper, trying to figure out the puzzle.  
  
Gosh! I'm such an idiot! I should've known better then just catch your wrist. A whirlpool swallows me inside out and I'm a mess. I'm in a world with unexplained emotions.   
  
Before I know what I'm actually planning to do, I make a step forward. My other arm automatically encircles around your waist and I step forward again, our bodies touching.   
  
Now we're so close to each other, closer than needed among friendship.   
  
You gasp in surprise and your owlish eyes widen even more (if it can). You've always been slow in understanding some things. I feel my eyes boring through your confused brown eyes (3). A blush quickly creeps out of your cheeks.  
  
"What are you doing?" Your voice is barely a whisper and you cut off your glance from mine. I'm not very aware what I'm doing, but I like it and yet dislike it.   
  
Why haven't you pushed me away?  
  
Maybe I've stunned you a bit too much?  
  
How I long to really touch you.  
  
I slowly descend to your jaw line and lightly tap your soft skin with my lips.   
  
I hear you gasp out loud and I feel your body stiffen.   
  
"K-K-Kouji-kun?" you stutter incoherently.  
  
Why haven't you pushed me away?  
  
I frown at that question as I find myself descending closer to your face again. To my own surprise I start to lick the raindrops on your cheek.   
  
I shudder in pleasure as I find myself wanting more.   
  
"W-w-what are you doing?" you try again. I pull back and stare at your face. I wonder how you've ended up against a pole.   
  
Then I realize...  
  
My eyes widen in shock. My mind had finally registered what I've done.   
  
"I'm s-sorry" I quickly pull myself away and stumble backwards. "I don't know what came over me. I swear. I'm so sorry, Takuya-kun!"   
  
My heart suddenly starts to sting, even my eyes.   
  
What have I done? You look taken aback at first and frown confusedly at me.  
  
Gosh! What could I have done? I shake my head in denial.   
  
NO!  
  
I would never do that to anyone. Not YOU. Not even if my body wants you.   
  
That's when I crumble into pieces. I ran!  
  
I ran out of the hut, away from you. I can't stay at one place with you. If ever again... I don't know what I'll do to you.  
  
"Kouji-kun!" I hear you call after me. I ignore the call brashly and let my tears fall. The rain soaks me again, mixing along with my tears. I shouldn't have let my body taken over. I shouldn't have.   
  
ARGH! I hate this! I'm confused.  
  
"Kouji-kun!" I hear you call again. I pinch my eyes closed.   
  
"No! No more!" I plead sobbingly.   
  
Why?   
  
Why is this happening?   
  
Why?   
  
Is this some trick?  
  
"Kouji-kun!" I hear your voice more clearly.   
  
A hand grabs me from behind and stops me from running further. I feel myself crumbling down than necessary.   
  
Why is this happening?   
  
Trembling hands reach for my face and force me to look up.   
  
"Kouji-kun..." I hear you whisper sadly as I dare myself to look through the watery substance into your eyes.   
  
"You worry too much..." It's half a whisper as I faintly feel your breath getting closer to mine.   
  
What's going on? I sobbed silently.  
  
I'm drowning in my own tears. I feel miserable.  
  
Why?  
  
Something soft makes contact with my lips and that's when everything stops. My body stiffens, my eyes widen and I gasp in surprise. The whirlpool is gone, but fear is left behind. Wha...?   
  
I'M FEELING YOUR LIPS ONE MINE!!!   
  
You pull closer to me and deepen the kiss.   
  
This is not a dream?   
  
My heart thuds faster than before and my stomach flutters hesitantly. I feel warm. It's warm inside. So happy...  
  
I give myself into the sweet sensation. I answer and change our roles. i deepen our kiss. My first real kiss.   
  
Not long afterwards we pull away, breathlessly. I guess we're both looking dazed. Your face looks flushed as you look at me silently.   
  
"I love you!" You blurt out loud, shocking me. "And I 'm happy I've said that. I love you! I've loved you since I can remember. You always had this sense around you which had attracted me like a magnet" You beam and then duck your head in embarrassment.  
  
My heart skips a beat and longs for you. My throat goes dry as I try to answer you properly. I don't feel confused now! My mind is clear!  
  
Is it waiting for my decision?   
  
So it's really love I long after all. It's love after all.   
  
I feel happy. I'm content. My inside feels warm. I want this feeling to stay. I flush immediately. Your words overwhelm me. They have a lot of meanings between the lines. It's in depth! Right to the point.   
  
Do I feel the same?   
  
I let my body go on its own. My body knows better or maybe is it my heart? I slowly raise a trembling hand and tilt your chin up. Your eyes look confused, vulnerable. They plead for an answer.   
  
I smile and leaned my forehead against yours.   
  
"Words sometimes means nothing" I whisper as I close my eyes and slowly push closer to you. I wonder how come we're against a tree. Oh well.   
  
"Sometimes actions mean nothing too. But just for a moment they mean a lot between us" I whisper and corner you with my body. Your body tenses and your breathing becomes ragged.   
  
I find myself kissing you tenderly on the lips and trail kisses near your jaw line. You arch your back and slightly slump. You must be melting already... I chuckle mentally. This is like paradise. Just for us both. Let's enjoy each others' whirlpools: your words, my actions... Gods. I, myself, am melting. It feels warm to have someone love you.   
  
I feel happy, relieved.   
  
I'm in love.   
  
I'm content.   
  
We're in paradise.   
  
Together.   
  
Locked away from everyone's worries.   
  
Even if just for a moment...  
  
*.*.*.*.* OWARI*.*.*.*.*  
  
Endnotes:  
  
1: Different timeline. Might be a bit confusing. ^-^;;  
  
2: 9_9 Don't know the word correctly.  
  
3: Is it brown?  
  
O.o Uhm... yeah... I warned you it's going to be a bit lime-ish. I got carried away halfway -_-;; My first one-shot about Digimon Frontier's somehow noticeable shounen-ai couple Takuya+Kouji/ Kouji+Takuya. 'it could've been worse than this one-shot.  
  
If it's still so confusing let's get to the point, shall we? ^_^  
  
- First of all, Kouji was just about to fall asleep at the beginning. There's too much on his mind...  
  
- Takuya and Shinya are playing hide-and-seek.   
  
- Kouji is just confused about his feelings and suspects he's getting messed up whenever Takuya is around.  
  
- A few weeks had gone by when Kouji spied on the brothers.  
  
- Watching the other fall asleep, Kouji himself didn't notice he'd fallen asleep. Sometimes it happens.  
  
- Indeed this is like a coincidence, but it doesn't have to be Takuya finding his way through the rain to the hut.  
  
- Kouji still hasn't sorted out his feelings yet.  
  
- Kouji lets his body take over  
  
- It's understandable that Kouji would be shocked because of his actions and the only thing he could do is RUN.  
  
- Takuya didn't push him away because he's 'shocked'. ^_~  
  
- The meaning behind Kouji's words is a contradiction I think. I mean it sort of sound some opposition.  
  
- I think the title really means "Paradise" hence the mention of paradise for a moment at the last scene.  
  
=^_^=cin 


End file.
